I wonder if she knows I think of her / sleek hair / birthed of ravens / she reminds me of cityscapes / and late night cafes / she blurs my vision with these worlds I don’t know / only ever living in a country town where shops close by 4pm / sometimes I try to morph her face to that of my mother’s / but it never quite fits / she calls regularly / days she can’t see me / her voice hoarse / I’ve never met someone / with so much strep in their life / sometimes she is adorned in / riptides of day / the kind of days / where you notice / the passing of time / within your hands / I wonder if she ever thinks of me / one time / she was out of the office / for two weeks / three months earlier / she told me her mother had cancer / I hoped for revival / though her voicemail / tasted of hospital coffee / I wonder if she knew I bowed my head / whispering prays / for her / each session her words spoken with fervor / as true as / the drum of / rattled train tracks / sometimes / I spew them back up / I’m not ready / my years old scars / still masquerading / as fresh wounds / she thinks I’m ready / I like her / she’s the aunt who comes for Christmas / bringing tastes of candied maple / snippets of lifetimes you aren’t meant to dive into / I drink her town as I stand in my bitter childhood house / does she cry in her car too? / I wonder if she knows I think of her