April 1, 2:30 pm

“Small black coffee please.”

“I’ll take the Caramel Indulgence. Extra caramel. It’s my birthday.”

“Don’t you have diabetes?”

“Yep.”

May 1, 2:47 pm

“It used to be that Mexican food store.”

“La something?”

“Las something.”

“Las Mexican.”

“Now it’s a dollar store.”

“They had the best chicken mole.”

“They had the best waitresses.”

“I met Ethan there.”

“Ethan, Ethan? Ethan who helped me install the stove? Ethan from Lowe’s?”

“Yeah, but he’s not Ethan from Lowe’s. He’s Ethan from the Las Mexican place.”

“Same Ethan.”

“Same but different.”

June 1, 2:59 pm

“I'll bet dimes to donuts Burger King borrows from hedge funds.”

“Hedge funds?”

“That’s what the internet says.”

“I told you to get off Google.”

“Why?”

“They track you. Use it for information so they know what we’re gonna do.”

“Gonna do? You just hit 86. What are you really gonna do before you die?”

“Get a milkshake.”

July 1, 2:02 pm

“Sandy’s calling, hold on. Yes, sweetie, I already grabbed half-n-half. It’s behind the chili the kids dropped off yesterday. No problem.”

“You didn’t even say love you before you hung up.”

“Yes, I did. I’d remembered half-n-half.”

August 1, 2:23 pm

“Shakey’s pizza borrowed 10 billion.”

“What makes you think they can pay it back?”

“They can’t.”

“I want pizza. All pepperoni. No cheese.”

“Is that even really pizza?”

“I’ll see when I eat it.”

September 1, 2:57 pm

“My granddaughter bought me a little cactus.”

“Did you plant it near the rose bush?”

“No I had to hang it inside. She said it needed to be comfortable.”

“Why can’t plants just be plants?”

“I don’t know. It’s also called a succulent now. Not a cactus.”

“Just drive her to Joshua Tree. Show her a real cactus.”

“It’s too hot out there.”

“It’s the desert! What do you want?”

“Air conditioning.”

October 1, 2:06 pm

“My band almost made it big in the 70s.”

“I know.”

“My band played on Western and Wilshire. We could’ve played the Troubador if Eliza hadn’t gotten knocked up.”

“I know.”

“But if you go down to South Central it's not what I remember anymore.”

“I know.”

“Take Highland all the way out and it stops being about the music.”

“I was there.”

“Yeah, I know.”

November 1, 2:46 pm

“Once you become a dentist you can make 2 million.”

“Be a successful orthodontist and you get the building.”

“Why didn’t we become dentists?”

“Women and music.”

“I think it was Vietnam.”

“Beverly Hills dentists. 50 million for no work.”

“That’s what Harrison Ford did.”

“Dentistry?”

“No work.”

December 1, 2:15 pm

“Did you hear Jack died?”

“Wasn’t he in New York during 9/11?”

“Yep.”

“He was 6 months short of being 100.”

“I think he was gonna organize a cruise trip for his birthday.”

“He always said he could pull a boat with his hands. He hated boats though.”

“Why?”

“He had nightmares about drowning.”

“So why a cruise?”

“Spite.”

“Shame. He was a good one.”

February 1, 2:39 pm

“Sorry again for missing last month. I wasn’t feeling too good.”

“Not a problem. Want another coffee?”

“Sure, I need to drop a couple pounds anyway. The doctor was worried. So was Sandy.”

“Nah, if you want to lose weight, you’ve gotta juice.”

“My dad gave me his juicer from WWII. But he forgot to tell me the gym he went to in the 30s.”

“Healthy as hell, I tell you.”

“It must’ve been Muscle Beach.”

“Did you see Schwarzenegger?”

“The son?”

“No, Arnold. He looks great.”

“Point is he’s in better shape now that he’s kind of out of shape.”

“It’s all about the fat.”

“And the juice.”

“And the movies.”

“I swear, it’s the juice.”

“For Arnold? He’s in great shape.”

“He’s friends with Sylvester Stallone.”

“They must juice.”

March 1, 2:59 pm

“Ready?”

“Yeah. Gimme your cup.”

“Here. Recycle, remember.”

“Same time next month?”

“Grab your jacket.”

“Same time?”

“Sandy will be mad if you lose the jacket. She gave it to you for your anniversary.”

April 1, 2:00 pm

“One small black coffee. To go.”